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An audio guide to a mediocre painting by an obscure painter who never intended his painting to be seen.
December 6, 2007 |
A few years ago I took the audio tour at the Getty Museum. There I found what I still consider to be the greatest piece of found comedy ever. It is the audio description of a painting by Italian Renaissance artist Dosso Dossi. Never mind who Dosso Dossi is! It doesn’t matter! I didn’t know and you don’t have to either! Just listen!
When I heard this, I immediately dragged my friend Margaux to the same spot and made her listen to it with me. We obsessed over this thing. A few months later, we returned and ripped the recording by plugging a tape recorder into the audio guide. I play it now for your enjoyment.
You may ask, “Shouldn’t I see the painting before hearing the description?” Absolutely not! No no no. Don’t even google the painting. Your enjoyment of this recording will be far greater if you never see the painting. Just picture yourself standing in front of a painting, any painting, and listen to these academics explain to you why the painting is in a museum in the first place. It is a thing of beauty!
You will ask yourself, as I did that day, “How did it ever come to this?”
I considered transcribing the audio and including it here, but that would ruin it. Just listen. Marvel at the earnestness. The slight academic smugness. The outright futility of it all. And most of all, the timing. It’s perfect in every way.
Comments
3 Comments so far
A lemon tree,,,,,,, Yup. OK….
Ya….
Fantastic. I’m glad I haven’t seen it
I so needed a laugh. This is priceless!!!!