The response:

I got the idea when I read this article from Politico about a conservative confab in Hollywood, which contained this great quote:

“…When the writers went on strike Nov. 5, they entrusted their futures to a leadership that essentially believes Karl Marx is still relevant,” he said. “This was a revolution against The Man.”

Now, I know the strike was a while ago, but I vaguely remember it being about us getting more money. I’m not sure how that qualifies as communism.

It’s our own fault. The WGA went to great pains to point out how “middle class” we are. But imagine if we had gone the other way. If we had trotted out our richest members. Imagine if we had pointed out that most writers are in fact corporations. Right wingers would have cheered us on.

Come to think of it, instead of a strike, we should have called it “synergy.” We would have made the cover of Business Week.

Yes, many would have complained. I can imagine how the liberal New York Times would have covered it:

“Corporations band together to raise the price of television and movie scripts. Cartel? Some say no.”

This is probably how Forbes would have covered our membership meeting:

“The CEO’s of Bad Robot, Shondaland, and thousands of other corporations gathered today in a members-only confab in Hollywood. The topic? More profits!”

Cheney himself would have come to that meeting to cheer us on.

“My friends, some who call themselves ‘Americans’ would have us believe that the price of tv and movie scripts should be dictated by some bureaucrat in some office. These people would have you submit your work to some producer who gets to say what he’ll pay for it. I say the sale price of a product is best determined by the person who made that product. And they should get that price no matter what. That’s how America works.” Thunderous applause.

Yes, there would have been a huge public outcry. We would have been dragged before a Senate committee. But our new friends, the conservatives, would have made damn sure we skated. Republican senators would have filibustered their asses off for us. Money would have poured into our Legal Defense Fund.

Then, O’Reilly and Limbaugh would have beat the drums for us.

“Hello, Caller, you’re on.”

“Cut off his mike. Next caller.”

Of course it would all end with the Bush Justice Department arguing that tv and movie scripts are vital to our national security. “If we have to go into pilot season with underfunded scripts, it only emboldens those who want to destroy us.”

And in a last-minute “compromise,” Senate democrats would have agreed to add a ten million dollar “security surcharge” to the sale price of every script, paid by the government from the Medicare Fund.

We could have done better. Next time, maybe we will.

17

I always doubted celebrities when they said they don’t pay attention to reviews, but now I’m starting to get it. After reading a number of bad reviews, you’re faced with a choice: either admit you’re a terrible hack and find another line of work, or brush it off and try to focus on what you’re doing well. Now there may well come a point where I’m forced to take option 1. But I’m not there yet.

As starved as we are for scripted television these days, a new single-camera comedy with a concept as funny as Hollywood Residential’s seems like a godsend.

We premiere on Wednesday, January 23rd at 10:30 p.m. on Starz. Wish us luck.

My latest project is a new comedy on the Starz Network. Hollywood Residential gives you a picture of Hollywood that you will never see on “Entourage.” It’s about a man barely managing to hang onto the fringes of show business.

The man, Tony King, is the host of a low-budget cable show that does home makeovers for celebrities. Tony is a frustrated actor himself. A terrible actor. And only marginally better as a handyman. All he wants is to be an insider. But his celebrity guests treat him like the help. To make matters worse, Tony’s show has recently hired a co-host, a beautiful, charming woman who is instantly more successful than Tony. She’s on her way up. Tony is not.

Part of the fun of Hollywood Residential is that we shot with real celebrities playing themselves. Our eight-episode season includes Paula Abdul, Tom Arnold, Carmen Elektra, Jamie Kennedy, Chris Kattan, Cheryl Hines, John Cho and Beverly D’Angelo. They all had a blast making fun of themselves and Hollywood.

The other part of the fun is that, since we’re on pay-cable, we can have foul language and nudity. And yes, we took advantage of that. I have to say, shooting with naked people turned out to be much less awkward than I expected.

Watch Hollywood Residential on Starz. I’m proud of it.